Best Ideas for Co-Parenting Effectively

family photo, family holding hands, child in the middle, child holding parents hands

After separating or divorcing, learning to co-parent is something that is not always going to be easy. But how can you make sure that the process goes as smoothly as possible, as you put the children first?

Unless there are some reasons why one parent shouldn’t be involved, then it is healthy and positive for both parents to be part of their children’s lives. Doing this will help to ensure that the needs of the children are met and that they are able to maintain a good relationship with both of their parents. How good the relationship is between you as the co-parents will also have a big impact on the well-being of the children, especially around anxiety or depression. As you were once in a relationship yourselves, there can be some bitterness and resentment, but for the children, it does need to be put to one side.

When it comes to co-parenting and joint custody, something like mediation could be a good avenue to go down, as it keeps things out of court. If you are able to have an amicable relationship, then this is definitely something that could make a difference.

Don’t Put Your Children In The Middle

It can be hard to let go of some feelings, especially if one parent feels hurt by the other. However, compartmentalizing those feelings is important, and they are not your children’s issues. It is a good idea to not use the children as messengers and use them to go between the two of you. Effective co-parenting will involve working together as a team for the children, rather than them feeling like they are the referees. Saying negative things about the other parent to the children can have very detrimental consequences, as they are half of the other parent, so learn to step up and keep children out of your issues.

Improve Communication With Your Co-Parent

It can be tricky, especially if one of the reasons you are no longer together is because of communication, but for the children, you need to make a real effort. When you have some consistent and purposeful communication with your co-parent, it can help everyone. It can be a good idea to think about communication with your ex partner as having such an important purpose; the well-being of your children. The children should be the focus of the conversations that you have, which can help you to keep communication clear and focused.

You don’t need to always meet in person to talk, as you can email, text, or talk on the phone. Whatever will help you to keep it as conflict-free as possible will be such a good thing.

Set Boundaries And Rules

There will be some house rules that are going to be different at mom’s than it will be at dad’s. However, having some consistent rules for the children can make such a difference to their life. Kids need routine and consistency, so it is a good idea to make sure that you’re on the same page about certain topics.


  1. Getting a divorce is hard anyway but these tips sound like it would makenit a lot easier on the childer as well as the adults!

  2. This is one of the hardest things to do but so important. I have to coparent with the parent of my first child. Thanks for the tips!

  3. It can be difficult but can be done.